Round Two... REALLY!

In May, I wrote about starting round two of my efforts to lose weight and get healthy. I've been pretending to try to diet ever since. And if the idea of dieting is to lose weight, I haven't been pretending very well. Probably have only fooled myself.

I'm hoping that I'm not premature in writing this... actually I'm going to wait until tomorrow or even the next day to finish... stay tuned.

Round Two

photo by Ack Ook

I've been kinda quiet about my weight loss efforts. Truthfully, I've been struggling a bit. I was so determined through the holidays and I lost - 66 pounds since November 5, 2009. 25 weeks.

I don't know how or when or why the struggle started, but it's been going on for a few weeks. I haven't really lost anything the last 3 weeks. I start each day pretending that I want to be on plan. Sometime during the day, I find a way to fall apart. I get stressed. I don't plan. I eat dumb things. It's self sabotage.

And while all this is going on within me, people are noticing my weight loss and complimenting me on my efforts. I'm noticing that my stomach is no where near as close to the steering wheel in my car as it used to be. I'm getting rid of my stretchy pants. I feel like a big fat FRAUD.

I was out of town for a class today. I took my Medifast food with me, but throughout the day I ate what came my way. And thankfully this nonsense is out of my system. I'm feeling that fire within me again.

I'm ready to start Round 2. I'll be 100% on plan restarting tomorrow. I'm excited to see what I can do in the next 25 weeks. I'm trying different. I'll tell you more about that soon.

So friends... I ask for your renewed prayers and accountability. I don't want to eat that tortilla chip or taste whatever at the next potluck or... well you get it. Health tastes better.

still at it

struggling a bit

the wind has left my sail


i'm stuck in the doldrums

.2 pounds lost this week - 66 pounds total
but any loss is loss

blow some encouraging thoughts my way

ya'll can be the wind beneath my wings (sheesh)

Spa Day here I come!

I lost 2 pounds this week, reaching my spa day reward from my mom. 65.8 pounds total.

Just have to make an appointment and find some time to disappear.

A new idea to motivate me

originally posted at my Medifast blog

1.4 more pounds gone. 62.2 pounds total.

It's coming off slowly. I'm responsible for this slow loss.

I'm still missing my fire. I try to summon it up every week.

The problem is that I don't summon it up every day or even every moment. I have these little arguments within myself. Part of me decides I'm going to eat something I shouldn't and the other part meekly tells me that I shouldn't do it. Unfortunately the undisciplined fat part of me is louder and bossier. She usually wins.

I was talking with my sister a few weeks ago. She was suggesting ways to motivate myself. I'm going to use one of her ideas.

I have 15.6 pounds to lose to get to my next -10% goal. I'm giving myself until April 15th to make that goal. I'm putting my money where my mouth is. If I fail, I'm going to send $50 to a local radio host for him to donate to the charity of his choice. Most everything about him is the opposite of me. I can only imagine who he'd give my money to. $50 buys a lot of Medifast or new clothes. I have every reason to keep from giving him my money.

And along the way, I still have that spa day to look forward to.

Discovery of the week: Zevia soda. It's a nice treat.

Like to win stuff? Don't forget my giveaway. Go to that post, leave a comment and maybe you'll win.

60 punds gone... FINALLY!

originally posted at my Medifast blog

I lost 1.6 pounds this week. It brought my total to 60.8 pounds. Grom was able to pick out a new bead for my bracelet. And to top it all off, I was able to wear a pair of those old jeans that didn't fit a few weeks ago.

I'm still floundering about a bit, but today's loss and my jeans victory were encouraging.

I have a reward from my mom waiting for me when I get to 65 pounds. She's giving me a "spa day". I'm not sure what all that means, but I'll take it. I could be relaxing at the spa (Can you see me with my hair in a turban and cucumbers on my eyes?) this time next week.

Time to tighten the screws and get this weight loss machine running more efficiently. I'm going to keep it simple this week foodwise, drink my water and get to dancing again.

I can do it.

My discovery of the week: Medifast came out with brownies. While it sounds like a marvelous idea, I don't care for them. I had one tonight and it tasted flat and boring to me. I'll give them a go again in a week or so, but my initial review is THUMBS DOWN.

Still at it.

originally posted at my Medifast blog...

I lost 1 pound this week. It might not sound like much for week 17, but it's a huge victory for me.

I'm here. I'm staying on my diet. I'm going to lose this weight.

I don't know how to explain the last few weeks. I stayed OP through Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Years. It was great. I felt empowered and the weight was coming off quick. Then mid February hit and I began to struggle. Honestly I'm still struggling a bit. But it's getting better.

There are some wonderful women who I want to thank for supporting me, kicking my butt and encouraging me through this rough patch. The cool thing is that some of them are from the community here and some are from my local life.

I know that I can count on my friend Stacey (she listens and prays with me) and my sister Beth (she asks the hard questions and somehow gets me to tell her things I usually keep to myself).

But I've also been blessed with new friends here. Three in particular standout lately. merlepdz messaged me at just the right time. In responding to her I processed a bunch of feelings that ended up in my blog. CARLSON messaged me and challenged me to stay OP for 3 days. She reminded me of what Jesus did for me in 3 days. I was convicted and stayed OP. And then pattrsun called me on the phone. We talked for ever. It was like talking to myself.

I posted earlier about Seth Godin's blog this week...

The usual mantra is to 'try harder'. Trying harder is impossible when you're already trying as hard as you can.

But you can always try different. read more

How can I try different this week?

I didn't weigh today.

originally posted at my Medifast blog...

photo by tanakawho

I decided not to weigh. It probably wasn't going to be good news and I didn't want to deal with the discouragement. It's silly, but this way I'm still at almost 60 pounds. And... if I want to keep thinking that, I need to get back at it.

I'm not going crazy with food, but I'm having trouble staying on plan.

I decide that I'm going to stay on plan, do a good job most of the day and then something just snaps and I screw up.

I'm finding there are foods that I just can't have around. I'm going to purge my house. My family can deal with it until I'm stronger.

I'm not spending enough time with the Lord and communication with my husband has been spotty. I'm sure these relationship problems are part of my recent struggles with my diet.

I actually processed all of this as I wrote a Medifast friend. We started at the same time and weighed exactly the same. She knows the boat I'm rowing and how wide the river is. I'm really glad she messaged me today and prompted me to think about all of this.

So... you can pray for me...
time with the Lord
communication and closeness with my husband
that I'd turn to those who love me instead of food in times of trouble.

WOW! a bit of a breakthrough! I think it's my discovery of the week.

Goose Egg

originally posted at my Medifast blog...

Well... it has happened. Welcome to Week 15 where I lost nothing, nada, zilch this week.

My weekly weight loss average has fallen below 4 pounds a week.

I'm having a hard time being 100% OP. I don't go crazy, but bites of this and a little bit of that are sneaking into my mouth. Correction! I'm willfully putting them in my mouth. This isn't something that is happening to me. I am responsible.

I can't quit now. I won't quit now. My head and heart must get back into this. My flesh must die. Pray for me.

My Lenten challenge has started and so far I'm flailing. Today is a new day though and I'm picking myself up and getting back at it.

(as I was reading through one last time - I had a thought about the difference between failing and flailing. One little "l" is the difference and that "l" represents effort and commitment and sticktuitiveness. I want that "l". Maybe that "l" is for loser?)

The challenge itself is straight forward. However, I'm flopping around with origin and purpose of the challenge. I've never been apart of a religion or group of people who observe lent. I understand the thought behind it, but have never applied it to myself. I still don't. My freedom is from Christ and I don't find that He asks such things from us. Instead I'm looking at it as another 40 days.

In any arranged challenge, there is accountability to others - but in this challenge... I guess I'm working through my feelings regarding the idea of Lent, Jesus and His ultimate sacrifice on the cross.

Anyway...

Today...
My scale is tucked away.
I'm going to drink gallons and tubs of water.
I will only eat food allowed on plan keeping it simple.
I will keep track of every bite.
I'm going to move more than usual.
I'm going to pray often and rely on Him to help me through this rough patch. Pray for me.

My discovery of the week: Chocolate Mint WATER from Metromint. It's spendy but a great treat. No carbs, no sweeteners... just a yummy treat.

Blah Blah Blah

originally posted at MyMedifast blog
I just don't want to post an update this week.

It's not that I haven't lost weight. I have. 1.8 pounds. 58.2 pounds total in 14 weeks. I'm still averaging over 4 pounds a week.

I'm in a bit of a funk.

It's been a busy week. My exercise has dropped off with the busyness. I don't have as much time to think about food and I've been bad about planning. I know that planning is so important to my success. I need to adjust and regroup.

Guess what? I have a new plan.

I joined a 40 day challenge. It starts on Wednesday, but I'm going to actually start on Tuesday. (We're going away for the weekend. I'll stay on plan but I'll have to stay flexible).

Here's my commitment...

• I will weigh every Thursday am during the 40 days and THAT IS IT.
• I will not doctor or mess with my Medifast foods for 40 days
• I will drink all my water for 40 days
• I will regard the condiment/snack allowance as a MAY have, not as a MUST have each day
• I will move my body (exercise) in an "extra" way every day
• I will not eat cheese (except cottage cheese)
• I will record everything I put in my mouth

In other news...
I bought some new jeans. 3 sizes smaller than the ones I was wearing when I started MF. I decided I didn't want to wait until I could get into the jeans in my closet. They arrived today and they fit. WOO HOO!

My discovery of the week: Water is really important.
When I drink a lot of water...

• I feel better.
• I lose better.
• I'm less hungry.

Even so, it's really easy to get busy and not drink. I'm looking for tips and tricks to increase my water consumption. Share yours in the comments.

Can't Touch This Lump

originally posted at my Medifast blog...
5.2 pounds this week. Crazy! Wonderful!

I stepped up the exercise activity this week. So far, I'm keeping it simple and fun. I'm doing "Just Dance" on the Wii every day. I try to find someone to dance with me. It's more fun.

Surferman is fun to dance with. He keeps insisting that the game doesn't register for him because he's so tall. And he has some crazy ideas like dancing with his back to the TV.

Grom is fun to dance with. He is so serious and determined to get the moves right. His little body just goes and goes.

Want to come dance?

I'm down 56 pounds and finally have less than 200 pounds to go. 13 weeks in and I'm still at the beginning of a long haul. I have a lot to learn about myself. I'm glad I'll have plenty of time. I pray for wisdom and understanding and perseverance.

I finished my first challenge on the message boards. I came up .4 pounds short of my final goal. When I weighed the next day, I lost the .4 and more, so I'm giving myself my promised reward, a massage.

Oh! and I only got 5 of the 12 comments I was fishing for last week. Can I get 7 more this week?

My discovery of the week: I have been looking forward to getting to my current weight. I thought it was the weight I was at after I had my son. I have a few pairs of jeans waiting to fit. I was thinner back then than I thought. I am going to have to lose some more before I can wear them.

Can I get 12 comments?

originally posted at my Medifast blog

Week 12 has come to an end.

I'm sitting here enjoying a cup of tea and a cup of "ice cream". Life is good!

I've been thinking about writing this week's update all day. I don't feel like I have a lot to say.

I lost 2.8 pounds today for a total of 51.2 pounds.

I added another bead to my bracelet today in celebration of 50 pounds of weight loss. It's great to earn rewards.

I found out this week that water is really important. We traveled last weekend and I didn't drink nearly as much water as I should have. My weekend weights (for challenges on the boards) were sorely affected (or should that be effected... I'm not sure).

I'm also realizing that it's time to step up the exercise. Hey, who am I kidding... it's time to start the exercise! I've done a little bit of Wii, but not enough to take it past "fun" to "fun and exercise". I'm challenging myself to additional activity everyday this week. Anybody want to go for a walk?

My discovery of the week: It's easiest to keep it simple. I make a bunch of the same stuff and keep eating it until it is gone. This week I'm still stuck on caulifower. I mix it with some cottage cheese and parmesan. I haven't made Surferman try it so I don't know if it's enjoyable in general or just to my dieting taste buds.

Until next week...
Less Robin

When it gets emotional...

originally posted at my Medifast blog
Week 11

Down 1.2 lbs 48.4 lbs total

It's funny how I'm very content with a just over one pound weight loss this week when I was almost suicidal with a three pound loss a couple of weeks ago.

With my huge loss last week, I didn't expect another big number. I'm fine with it. The weight will come off.

For no obvious reason, today was very emotional. All I wanted to do was eat. I wish I could say that I stayed 100%. It wasn't a full blown binge, but I was out of control to a degree.

I need to figure this out.

The emotions: boredom, stress, failure, apprehension.

boredom - there was no plan for this afternoon. I got home from church (I work at our church) and did nothing (or not much).

stress - I have a lot to do at church tomorrow, and we are going out of town tomorrow night.

failure - I didn't get a couple of things done today at church that I should've gotten to. I forgot. I hate forgetting. I hate letting people down.

apprehension - Going out of town introduces a lot of unknowns, especially when you're doing something like Medifast. Where we live is not too crowded, it's beautiful and life seems to move a little slower. Surferman jokes about living in a bubble. It's always hard to leave the bubble.

As I write it all down, it becomes clear... NO PLAN = NO SUCCESS!

I need to keep my to do lists and my calendars near. I need to work my to do lists. I'm too busy to be bored. I need to use my lists to plan for our time out of town... if it's written down, I can't forget something. I will be prepared.

Tomorrow will be a different day. There will be a plan.

Thursdays

originally posted at my Medifast blog

Week 10

Just because I'm really good at math (and the x10s are really easy) I figured out that this is day 70 for me. I stopped counting the days a while ago. I realized a few weeks ago that it was time to settle in for the long haul.

Even though I've lost 47 pounds, I still have over 200 pounds to go. It could be daunting. I could give up. But I won't. I'm not sure why I'm so confidant, but I am. This is my season to lose weight and get healthy. I'm going to do this.

Anyways, I love Thursdays. The week is drawing to an end and the weekend is on it's way. I also get to do my official weight for the week.

I always wear the same pajamas to bed on Wednesday night. I wake up and head to the bathroom. After I pee, I step on the scale and wait.

I blogged earlier about my crazy Biggest Loser scale that takes forever to settle on the true weight. It used to drive me crazy. Now I know that if I stand super still, count to 7 and look down (which isn't super easy - I have a lot of me to look around) that the weight should be locked in or locking in soon.

I intently remember the number - chanting it in my head all the way to my studio and my computer. I can't seem to remember what my weight was last week. I have an idea of what it was, but don't know how much I actually lost until I enter it at the Medifast website.

Today it was 6 pounds! Total 47.2 pounds.

And then my day starts. Today it started VERY happy.

Usually a mother's worst nightmare... I lost my child.

originally posted at my Medifast blog

Rest assured, I know exactly where my boy is. He's in bed fast asleep.

However, I have lost as much weight as he weighs. It's a happy accomplishment.

3 pounds this week. Total 41.6 pounds.

I also hit my first 10% goal and was able to add a bead to my bracelet for 40 pounds. It's a week of celebration. I'm not sure how I'm going to celebrate my 10% goal yet. I welcome ideas.

I'm finding that there are foods that I just can't handle eating. They might be on plan, but if they are in my house... watch out! Identifying them is half the battle. I love coffee. I only drink decaf, so it's not the buzz I enjoy. I love the flavor. Hot coffee with a bit of milk or creamer. During the first weeks on Medifast, I guess I missed where I could have half and half. I drank my coffee with hot chocolate or cappuccino. My coffee consumption went down, but everything was fine. Fast forward to last week when I had a pint of half and half in my fridge. The coffee flowed free. I'm not buying it anymore. But coffee at Starbucks has become a super treat.

My discovery of the week: I make the chocolate pudding in my MB blender with extra crushed ice and extra cold water. When it's blended it's like soft serve ice cream.

The week I sound like a brat when I should be counting my blessings - Week 8

originally posted at my Medifast blog

I lost 3 lbs this week. 38.2 lbs total.

Here's the part where I sound like a spoiled brat... I'm disappointed. Feel free to throw rotten canned tomatoes (they're on plan), but please remove them from the can first.

Earlier this week during one of my quick on and off the scales (that don't really count as weighing) I saw a number that would have put me at a total loss of over 40 lbs. It also would have brought me to my first 10% weight loss goal. I was very excited.

Today I saw a higher number.
It was a lower number than I've seen in forever.
It was a number that represented a very respectable weight loss for my 8th week on a diet.
It was a weight loss that most people would happily take.

Still it took me most of the morning to get over it... to get over myself.

The other day I was complimented on how I was staying on plan and doing such a good job with Medifast. I would've thought that the words out of my mouth would be something like, "Medifast is great. It's hard but the plan is so simple". Instead I said, "It must be God". The glory for my success has to go to Him. Not to me, not to this plan...He is the one who gives me the strength. He is faithful when I'm faithless. He makes all things possible and He prepared me for this season. And He will get me through when staying on plan becomes a burden.

The past few weeks I can't say that I've forgotten these truths, but I can say that I have gotten a bit big for my britches (actually my britches have gotten a bit big for me, but you get where I'm going). While this time might be for me (to lose weight and regain my health), it's not about me. It's about how God is working in my life. I pray that as the fat comes off, I will grow closer to God and become more like Jesus.

My discovery of the week: parmesan cheese is a FAT! All this time, I thought it was a condiment. (I'm still unsure of the fat vs healthy fat and all that - it's something I need to look into more). It was a reminder that I have to keep reading and checking my lists and not assume that I know the plan.

What have you discovered this week?

My scale went crazy - Week 7

originally posted at my Medifast blog

I bought a new scale back in October because my old scale couldn't handle how much I weighed.

Every time I jumped on it, it just said, "Err"

Err... why did you eat that bowl of ice cream last night?
Err... what are you going to do about this?
Err... get off already... you weigh too much.

I got rid of that scale at a garage sale last month. I bought a new one. It's Biggest Loser brand and I swear it does that crazy all over the place weighing just like the show.

I go to bed every Wednesday night anticipating waking up and weighing. Because it fluctuates so much, it's easiest and works best if I just look straight ahead. Surferman usually reads the weight for me.

Today he told me 375.5 pounds. If you're following my progress you'd know that would've been 11 some pounds this week. After I caught my breath, I told him we needed to do it again... 377.8 lbs. I weighed again and it said 389.5 (which would've been a gain). Ridiculous.

Surferman being the fixer he is, set out to figure out what was wrong with the scale. He cleaned the feet. He changed the battery. He bounced on the floor to see if he could feel a soft spot. Finally he declared it in proper working order after getting two consistent weights for himself.

I got on. It wasn't 11 pounds.
But it was 4.2 pounds!
35.2 pounds total.
I am very pleased.

I also realized today that I should have kept that other scale. It wouldn't be... err... complaining anymore.

My discovery of the week: It's possible to go to Disneyland and stay on plan. They sell dill pickles near the Jungle Cruise, and you can get a great salad in Tomorrowland. And of course you get to walk a bunch. Drinking water is the biggest problem because it's much better standing in line for a ride than a bathroom.

Coming Clean - Week 6

originally posted at my Medifast blog

3.2 lbs gone - 31 lbs total.

I'm a blogger. I've been blogging since November 2005. I blog about my life, my kid, my hobbies, but until recently I didn't blog about my weight. I am careful about privacy. My husband and my son both have nicknames, Suferman and Grom (a young sufer). I try not to provide information about where I live. I did a good job of concealing things I didn't want to share. My weight was one of those things. I didn't bring it up.

Recently I came clean. I posted about my struggles and admitted my denial. I asked for prayer and encouragement. I started sharing my MF blog entries and my MF successes. I'm glad I did. Losing this weight and getting healthy isn't going to happen overnight. I'm glad to have my friends on my side for the long haul.

I found myself getting a little free and easy with the condiments (and fats... yikes) this week. My goal for next week is to measure and account for these "extras" more diligently. The scale keeps going down. I have passed the 30 pound mark. Yippee!

For my birthday, my parents gave me a Pandora bracelet that I'm going to add beads to celebrate my weight loss. I'm thinking a bead for every 10 pounds. I'll be shopping for it and THREE beads this week. My favorite color is orange. Do you think I should get all different orange beads or just all different beads? I'm trying to decide.

We're going to Disneyland with family on Monday. Surferman, Grom and I will be traveling quite a bit next week. Staying on plan through it all will be my challenge. I know I can do it.

My discovery of the week: I shared my water drinking strategy a couple of weeks ago. This week I discovered that if I add a little hot water to my cold water it's nicer to drink on these cold mornings. I just take the chill off.

Pray for me.

Almost a pound a day! - Week 5

6.8 lbs gone - 27.8 lbs total!

I was really hungry this week. I think it was related to my time of the month. I looked for bulky foods and I'll admit to eating a few more pickles than I'm supposed to. I made it through and am thinking about ways to prepare myself better next month. Good news... my face didn't break out as bad as it usually does.

I'm stoked that I had such a nice loss this week. It is encouraging to see results. I have noticed that my energy level is higher and that bending over and getting things off the ground is easier. I tried on a sweatshirt top that was too small. I can wear it now, even though I think it will look better when I lose a few more pounds.

My discovery of the week: vanilla pudding made with 1/2 cup iced decaf espresso... it's like tiramisu in a cup.

average weekly weight loss: 5.5 lbs

Pray for me.

November 1, 2009

originally posted on 11/1/09 at "Less Robin"

photo by Memotions

No picture update this month. I haven't lost an ounce. I've even gained a little bit.

I just can't get it together.

I'm trying something new. I've ordered Medifast "food" and am actually anxiously waiting for it to arrive. I am very hopeful.

I think I'll be starting on Thursday. I had to do something and late one night last week, I decided that this was it.

I did Medifast back when I was in college and was actually very successful. Back then, there wasn't a lot of variety in the program. It was basically shakes and soup and that was it. I liked the simplicity.

Now it has more choices and you eat a "lean and green" meal once a day. I'll be tracking the number of carbs I consume each day (with online tools). There are a few other things to think about. I'm hoping I can keep it simple.

I'm committed to staying totally on program through the holidays. It won't be easy, but without choices, it will be easier.

Watch for weekly weight updates.

And pray for me.