Happy Valentine's Day Surferman!

I love you Surferman! Thanks for being my Valentine.

"... This is my beloved,

and this is my friend..." Song of Solomon 5:16

This might surprise you, but I don't call my husband Surferman.

I call him Buddy or Bud. He's my buddy, my friend and my love.

I have really enjoyed this challenge. I really needed this challenge. I learned a lot about myself and my heart. I realized a lot about my husband, the man God ordained just for me.

I've seen how my change in attitude and behavior has encouraged Surferman. They say 21 days makes a habit. I hope that with 30 days under my belt these changes will stick.

Read more about the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge, and check out Kelli's blog, "Embracing the JOurYney.." . I am so glad Kelli encouraged us to join her.

Just two rules:
You can't say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband.
Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband. . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband!

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,

and before honor is humility." Proverbs 15:33

Surferman is sitting on a big decision. It weighs heavy and has been at the forefront of his mind.

He asks what I think.
He asks my Dad what he thinks.
But most importantly, he's asks God what He thinks.

He is listening.

I see Surferman reading his Bible. I see Surferman praying with other men. I see Surferman seeking teaching. I see Surferman processing.

Whatever he decides...

Read more about the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge, and check out Kelli's blog, "Embracing the JOurYney.." as she leads us through it.

Just two rules:
You can't say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband.
Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband. . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband!

"...seek peace,

and pursue it." Psalm 34:14b

"You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You." Isaiah 26:3

always be with grace..." Colossians 4:6

I confess that I'm an eye-roller. Since I can't see my eyes, I don't realize how much I do it. I think it's a lot more than I realize.

I don't usually get angry. I roll my eyes.

I want to be filled with His perfect peace. I want a mind stayed on my heavenly Father. Lord, help me bring peace to my family. Lord, bring peace to me.

Read more about the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge, and check out Kelli's blog, "Embracing the JOurYney.." as she leads us through it.

Just two rules:
You can't say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband.
Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband. . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband!

"Let your speech...

always be with grace..." Colossians 4:6

I've missed blogging about the challenge a couple of days, but I haven't let up in my pursuit of encouraging my husband.

Surferman and I had an interesting exchange yesterday at church. We had a misunderstanding and Surferman decided to blame himself. Surferman wasn't very nice to my husband. I had to speak up and defend my man.

In the past, it could've been a big deal. I would've helped make Surferman feel bad. I would've worried more about affixing blame than getting through the situation.

Instead... a big hug. And on to plan B.

Read more about the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge, and check out Kelli's blog, "Embracing the JOurYney.." as she leads us through it.

Just two rules:
You can't say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband.
Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband. . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband!

"And be kind to one another,

tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you." Ephesians 4:32

It's easy to hold a grudge, but where does it get you... especially in your marriage.

I am blessed that Surferman is an easy going sort of fellow. His anger lasts a moment. He forgives easily. I can (and have) learned from him.

I really like this verse. It's one of our family verses for Grom. It speaks so much of how we need to act as husband and wives, as parents, as a family, with our friends and within the body of Christ.

Read more about the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge, and check out Kelli's blog, "Embracing the JOurYney.." as she leads us through it.

Just two rules:
You can't say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband.
Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband. . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband!

Beloved

My Surferman is strong and charming,
outstanding among ten thousand.

His head is purest gold;
his hair is short
and what is left is brown as latte.

His eyes are like twinkling stars
reflected in the rolling waves
washed in foam,
sparkling with love.

His cheeks are like a sandy beach
yielding smiles.
His lips are like laughs
dripping with chocolate.

His arms are rods of steel
set with hard work.
His body is like a NBA center
decorated with mustard.

His legs are skinny like a chicken's
set on bases with funny looking toes.
His appearance is like Maui,
choice as its beaches.

His mouth is sweetness itself;
he is altogether lovely.
This is my lover, this my friend

Read more about the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge, and check out Kelli's blog, "Embracing the JOurYney.." as she leads us through it.

Just two rules:
You can't say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband.
Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband. . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband!

"A merry heart...

does good like medicine.." Proverbs 17:22
"You will show me the path of life. In your presence is fullness of joy...Happy are the people whose God is the LORD!" Psalm 16:11, 144:15

Usually Surferman has a great sense of humor. Life has been a little serious around here lately. Being unemployed weighs on him. He's not as playful and silly as he usually is.

This challenge continues to bring up things that we need to work on... things we should do.

We are watching my sister's girls this Saturday night. I think we'll get a funny movie to watch after all the kids are in bed. Recommendations anyone?

Read more about the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge, and check out Kelli's blog, "Embracing the JOurYney.." as she leads us through it.

Just two rules:
You can't say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband.
Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband. . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband!

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,

and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding." Proverbs 9:10

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness. James 3:17-18

What a great list! I imagine my marriage, my family and my life with purity, peace, consideration, submission, mercy, good fruit, impartiality and sincerity. What a harvest of righteousness there would be! Lord, I want wisdom and some for Surferman too.

Read more about the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge, and check out Kelli's blog, "Embracing the JOurYney.." as she leads us through it.

Just two rules:
You can't say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband.
Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband. . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband!

52 Things

I found this idea at Craftster. I kept mine simple. Just wanted to have fun and create something fun and romantic for Surferman's Valentine's Day gift. It was a sucess.

"And the LORD God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone;

I will make him a helper comparable to him'". Genesis 2:18

Communication isn't always easy for me and Surferman. We get busy and somehow forget to talk.

Today wasn't a banner day for either of us. Grom didn't have school and we never made a good plan for him. Throw in Surferman not getting a good nights sleep and our home phone being out of service and you might be able to understand.

Please pray for our communication. And better cell phone coverage for our house wouldn't be bad either...

Read more about the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge, and check out Kelli's blog, "Embracing the JOurYney.." as she leads us through it.

Just two rules:
You can't say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband.
Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband. . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband!

"But grow in the grace

and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ..." 2 Peter 3:18

Surferman didn't know the Lord when we met. He wasn't saved when we married. My life could've gone terribly wrong. I prayed.

And God is good, full of mercy and grace.

Eventually... Surferman met his Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

The growth wasn't always swift, but it has been steady.

Growth... I see him reading his Bible.
Growth... I see him praying with Grom.
Growth... I see him serving at church.
Growth... I see him watching his language.
Growth... I see him raising his hands in praise.

I know there is other growth. I don't always see it.

But when I do, I rejoice.

Read more about the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge, and check out Kelli's blog, "Embracing the JOurYney.." as she leads us through it.

Just two rules:
You can't say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband.
Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband. . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband!

"The righteous man...

walks in his integrity..." Proverbs 20:7

Except for when he forgets he is suposed to usher at church and runs off out of town to spend time with his family. oops.

We've had a great time.

Read more about the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge, and check out Kelli's blog, "Embracing the JOurYney.." as she leads us through it.

Just two rules:
You can't say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband.
Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband. . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband!

My Husband Rocks

My Husband Rocks for Friday February 13, 2009

Again this week, Katy Lin has posted some articles and blogging prompts to remind me why My Husband Rocks.

1. Tell the story of your first Valentine's Day together.

Surferman made me dinner. My parents gave him a couple of fillets. I remember cut up green apples, baked potatoes and a Little Debbie treat. I went to his place - a really beat up trailer where he lived with a pothead roomate and a couple of stinky dogs. He lived in Galaxy Trailer Park. We used to joke that he lived right around the corner, just up Uranus. (Say it aloud, it's funny.) He cleaned before I arrived, even swept off the couch. I knew it was love.

2. In reference to the first article, which "secrets" do you do well, which could you work on, which do you struggle with?

I'm working on all of them. It's a great list. You really should go and read them. Your spouse will appreciate it.

My favorite was "The grass is greenest where you water it." Amen. I'm watering the lawn.

3. If you decide to take the advice of the second article, tell us what you're going to do, or share pictures if you have time!

I want to redo our bedroom. Surferman indulged me and let me paint our bedroom orange a few years ago. I should be thrilled, but I picked the wrong color. Instead of the warm joyful orange that I wanted... I sleep in the middle of a gallon of orange sherbert. It's just a little too cluttered. It's not a sanctuary. It's not a love nest.

I hope to change that this year. A warmer color. Less Clutter. Some candles. Music. New linens.

My husband rocks!

"With all lowliness and gentleness,

with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love." Ephesians 4:2

Expectations.

Expectation is the root of all heartache.
William Shakespeare

I don't totally agree with Will, but I do know that unrealistic expectations can get you into a mess quick. I often have unrealistic expectations for myself (you should see my to do list). I have God, Surferman, some good friends, and family to keep me in check. My expectations for myself can depress me and drive me crazy.

Unfortunately the unrealistic expectations sometimes pass on to Surferman.

I expect him to be romantic.
I expect him to be godly.
I expect him to be sensitive.
I expect him to take care of my needs and my whims.
I expect him... you get it.

He is human. Flesh and bones and sin... just like me.

Only God can provide for all of our needs.
Only God is forever.
Only God is God. Surferman is not God. He can't be God.
I can't expect him to act like God.

And if I don't... my marriage has a chance at being awesome.

Read more about the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge, and check out Kelli's blog, "Embracing the JOurYney.." as she leads us through it.

Just two rules:
You can't say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband.
Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband. . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband!

"Wives, submit...

to your own husbands, as to the Lord." Ephesians 5:22

I'm not sure how well the next story relates to submission, but it's a good story and shows the growth I've experienced in just 11 days of this challenge.

We made a road trip to Las Vegas today. It was a l.o.n.g. drive. Both Surferman and I have "Directional Deficiency" You won't find it in the DSM, but it should be.

Here are the symptoms to look for...

• inability to differentiate between left and right
• difficulty knowing right hand from left hand (unless you look at your hands and see which one makes an "L" or pretend to hold a pencil)
• you routinely say right when you mean left and vice versa

Unfortunately there seems to be no cure and the only treatment involves GPS.

Back to the story...
A couple of weeks ago (pre-challenge), we took a road trip. Even with a GPS, we got lost multiple times and argued our way to our destination. It was pretty miserable.

Today though, we got turned around a couple of times yet we arrived at our destination without stress, without tears. It was great. It was proof the Lord has changed me.

Read more about the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge, and check out Kelli's blog, "Embracing the JOurYney.." as she leads us through it.

Just two rules:
You can't say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband.
Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband. . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband!

"Behold you are handsome,

my beloved! Yes, pleasant!... " Song of Solomon 1:16a

6 feet 6 inches. Tall and strong, not thin and spindly.

That's my Surferman.

Read more about the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge, and check out Kelli's blog, "Embracing the JOurYney.." as she leads us through it.

Just two rules:
You can't say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband.
Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband. . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband!

"... be swift to hear,

slow to speak..." James 1:19b

At dinner tonight we had a problem. Surferman was feeling like he was being ignored. He was trying to talk about the plans for tomorrow. Too much was going on... I was distracted. It wasn't pretty.

Often I complain that Surferman isn't listening. He felt vindicated when a recent hearing test revealed that he does have diminished hearing. One ear is pretty bad and the other isn't far behind. His hearing loss is probably from all those years of working with pneumatic power tools and banging on cars with hammers and such. I also understand that surfing and the cold water in the ear canal can also cause damage. He now likes to tell me that it's not that he's not listening, he's not hearing.

Back to today... I wasn't listening. I got a taste of how I feel when I feel like I'm being ignored. I'm going to purpose to listen better. The encouragement challenge offers an exercise... not speaking for a day unless answering a question... to focus on listening. I think I'll work on speaking less and listening more.

Read more about the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge, and check out Kelli's blog, "Embracing the JOurYney.." as she leads us through it.

Just two rules:
You can't say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband.
Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband. . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband!

"... but who can find...

a faithful man?" Proverbs 20:6b

Faithfulness.

If you look it up in a dictionary, it would make sense to me that there would be a big picture of Surferman.

He is loyal... sometimes to a fault. In regards to employment, his resume is short. He doesn't quit. He sticks it out. He works hard and gives his best and most to his employer.

It's one of his character traits that I love about Surferman.

And as I wrote that I see how you could change "employment" to "marriage" and "employer" to "wife" and the story would be the same.

Faithfulness.

Read more about the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge, and check out Kelli's blog, "Embracing the JOurYney.." as she leads us through it.

Just two rules:
You can't say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband.
Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband. . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband!

"That I may cause those who love me...

to inherit wealth, that I may fill their treasuries." Proverbs 8:21
"Do not overwork to be rich; because of your own understanding, cease!... for riches certainly make themselves wings..." Proverbs 23:4-5

Today's subject is money and financial matters in marriage. I've been thinking about what to share all day. I got nothing, nada, zilch.

We are very blessed, and fortunately recognize that blessing. We see what the Lord has done for us and use it well. Frugal comes naturally. Why buy something new when you can fix what you have, or buy it for a fraction of the price at a garage sale?

I praise the Lord that we are likeminded in the economy of our home.

We don't have consumer debt, just our mortgage that we are plugging away on. Budgeting is a challenge, but it's coming along. There never seems to be too much money, does there? We both enjoy Dave Ramsey and his no nonsense advice. I can't wait to call Dave and tell him we've paid off the house.... oh to scream... We're debt free!

God is good.

Read more about the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge, and check out Kelli's blog, "Embracing the JOurYney.." as she leads us through it.

Just two rules:
You can't say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband.
Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband. . . to your husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband!