The most important habit...

is not giving up! I don't know how long it has been since I've worked on my habits. A lot of my previously established habits have fallen to the wayside. I guess that means they weren't really habits, doesn't it?

Anyhoo... I'm back. Trying to make my world better.

My habit this week is to re-establish our before bedtime routine.

When dinner is over, it seems like Surferman and I rush to get Grom and Gigi to bed. And then we do whatever we want to do - visit message boards, watch TV, shop for weird stuff on ebay, blog, read blogs, play computer games... you name it. We don't want to do things that will make life easier for us. We don't want to do things that are productive. We just want to do what we want to do. Selfish? Definitely.

Surferman and I had a great coffee date last Wednesday. In addition to watching a LOST recap (LOST restarts 1/31!)




and talking about 2008 vacation plans, we discussed changing our evening routine and getting up earlier.

Here's our list...

Set up coffeemakers
Plan lunch
Plan breakfast
Shower
Empty trash / recycles
Layout clothes - Me and Grom
Prep bags (Grom's bag and bag of good food)
Pick up house
Start dishwasher
Turn off lights (amazing that this needs to be on our list, but we've had problems with it lately)
Supplements
Tend to Laundry
10:00 pm bedtime

Pray for us. There is a lot of selfishness that is going to have to be put aside to make this happen. And even more selfishness to make this a habit.

Read more Smart Habit Saturday posts at the Lazy Organizer.

It's the little things

Surferman just walked by my room. He was on his way to watch a SciFi movie. He stopped to see if I wanted anything.

I said a big glass of water.

He asked, "With a shot of juice?"

I replied that it would be nice.

He brought my big orange cup filled with water and a splash of cranberry juice AND one ice cube. Just like during the breastfeeding days.

What a peach!

Surferman vs The Possum

My husband is a mild (somewhat) mannered guy. He craves a glassy ocean, a good wave and a longboard. Surfing is his passion. It keeps him happy. It keeps him sane.

He is also a true superhero. I thought it was time to share the story of when his true identity was revealed.


A version of this story was originally posted at Frugal-Families August 2003.
For a fuller experience, be sure to click the links...

For a couple of days, I kept smelling something funky when I lay down to sleep at night. Husband adamantly denied that it was him.

Finally we discovered what it was...

One night, we were happily sleeping. Husband woke up because he heard something outside. Only, it wasn't outside! Instead the blasted thing was IN our room! It was huge. It had to weigh 50 lbs and was half the size of a VW bug. THE POSSUM was in our bedroom! I think the vile beast broke in and was living under our bed for a couple of days. He was sneaking out of our room at night, eating the cat's food and devising evil plans.

This is the 4th time Surferman has had to battle The Possum. But the first time the battle was in our ROOM!

I'm proud to say that Surferman is still UNDEFEATED!!!

Husband (from here on out to be referred to by his superhero name- Surferman) was valiant and brave. He chased the darn thing all over our room. We were both safely on top of the bed (yelling and screaming) and had sticks, brooms and other grabbers.

The Possum was discovered in the closet. Knowing he was no match for Surferman, The Possum promptly ran under the bed, then behind the entertainment center, then under the bed, and then back to the entertainment center. Surferman was almost beat.

Finally through crafty strategy, The Possum was cornered. Surferman grabbed The Possum with his super secret and fully loaded ROBO gripper and flung the hissing beast out the door. I yelled for him to never come back and to tell all his friends about Surferman.

Peace and calm were returned to the sanctuary of slumber. Surferman changed out of his cape, and we were able to get back to sleep. You should see how cute he looks with those long board shorts over his tights.

One last thing....

That whole "playing possum" thing is bogus. They are quick things.

And I'm happy to report that The Possum has never been back.

Works For Me Wednesday - Steak and a Movie Night

I don't know when it started, but we've been doing it for years. Friday night is "Steak and a Movie Night". To celebrate the end of an always long week, we have an easy dinner. Easy to prepare and easy to clean up.

Grom gets to go to bed early. Surferman grills the steak. Top Sirloin is our favorite. I nuke some potatoes and the salad always comes out of a bag. We pull out the trays, pop a movie into the DVD player and kick back and relax.

There are occasional variations. Fish and a Movie Night. Take Out and a Movie Night. But it's really nice to know the plan. The hardest part... who gets to choose the movie.

7 Favorite Songs

So I heard about this topic going around blogland. First at Everyday Mommy and then at Rocks in My Dryer. The idea is to list 7 Favorite Songs. I thought I'd give it a shot. Favorite is a really strong word though.

In no particular order...

Mission of my Soul - Peter Himmelman. This is Surferman and mine's song. I found a live version of the song at his website. You have to get past a lengthy intro but the song is there and boy is it nice.

Blessed Be - Tree63. This song gave me great comfort when we were told that we probably wouldn't have a child without advanced reproductive technology and more when I found out I was pregnant. You can listen to it at Tree63's my space page

Everything That's Beautiful - Chris Tomlin This song gives me comfort with the realization that Grom may very well be an only child.

Love Shack - The B-52's Who would've guessed that they have a web site and that they are still touring???

If I Had a Million Dollars - BNL This song is from their 1st album. I've always wanted a monkey.

Fill Me - Sherri Youngward If you dig around her website you can hear this song. She is amazing. I love worshiping our great big God with her.
Here's the lyrics

Fill Me

Holy Spirit the Father’s grace
The promised One in Jesus’ name
I need you now, I need Your power
To walk with boldness in this hour

Search my heart
Cleanse this temple
Holy One, only You are able
To take this life, my offering
Holy One, I am willing

Fill Me
Fill Me
Fill Me

The Hairbrush Song - Veggie Tales (Silly Songs with Larry)
When anything is missing at our house this song is sung with the said lost item substituted for "hairbrush" in the lyric. When Grom sings it I melt.

Aunt Theo's Potatoes

Aunt Theo's Potatoes

This is the potato casserole made famous by Surferman's Aunt Theo. It's a staple at all family functions. It goes great with holidays. There is nothing healthy about them, but they are oh so delicious. Surferman always wants one pan for the event and another pan for himself.

Ingredients:
2 lbs frozen cubed hash browns (thawed)
1/2 c. butter melted
1 t. salt
1/4 t. pepper
1/2 c. chopped onion (don't tell, but I use 1/4 c. dried minced onion)
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 pt sour cream (don't tell, but I use light sour cream)
2 c. grated cheddar cheese

1/4 c. melted butter
1 1/2 c. crushed corn flakes

Directions:
Mix first set of ingredients together. Place in a sprayed 9x13 pan.

Mix cornflakes with butter. Spread over the top of the casserole.

Bake at 350F for 1 hour uncovered.

Celebrating 10 Years of Marriage on Maui (A List of 10 Great Things to Do, See or Eat)

Surferman and I had an amazing time celebrating our 10th anniversary on Maui. We've compiled our list of the 10 best things about our trip. If you have a chance to get away with your sweetie, I highly recommend it. If you have a chance to get away with your sweetie and go to Maui, we recommend (in no particular order):

Aloha Mixed Plate - Go at sunset to enjoy the beautiful view and sunset. Great food with casual seating outside. The food is a deal with large portions served. Surferman had the Alii plate which had a variety of Hawaiian dishes and I had the Aloha Mixed Plate which gave us even more variety.

Maui Brewing Company - Ask for Ed. He was the best waiter we had this trip. He really knew his menu, his beers and was happy and fun. Surferman had Ahi 3 Ways, I had a special that was so special words fail me. I felt like an Iron Chef judge tasting the offering of a competitor. Desserts were fantastic too.

Maui Guest House - Our trip wasn't all about eating. We stayed at a fantastic Bed and Breakfast in Lahaina. It had everything that we needed and even a few things that we didn't. It was very clean. The staff was attentive, friendly and helpful. The kitchen is well equipped. We made picnic lunches most days and cooked our dinners in a few of the nights we were there.

Calvary Chapel Westside - We were blessed to be able to worship at both a Sunday and a midweek service with our CCWestside brothers and sisters. Pastor Steve is a great teacher and you can't bet their sanctuary - they meet in a park right on the water.

The Gazebo Restaurant - Ever have a Banana Pancake with Coconut Syrup? This is the place to go for breakfast on Maui as far as we're concerned.

Black Rock and Snorkeling - Park at the Sheraton Maui Resort in Kaanapali. Use their valet service; it's worth every penny. The beach is beautiful and sandy, but a bit crowded and without shade. Don't forget the SPF. We both burned a bit. Next time, I'll be looking for some SPF rash guards to wear. We saw tons of fish, beautiful sea creatures and coral. Surferman even saw a sting ray. We walked down to Whaler's Village for lunch. A great day.

Honolua Bay and Snorkeling - Not as great as Black Rock, but a heck of a lot less crowded at the same time. Easy hike from the car to shore. Clean portapotty.

Starbucks - OK... Venti Iced Cup, filled with ice, 3 shots of decaf espresso, fill to 3/4 of an inch with water - add some half and half and a bit of liquid sugar (Why can't we get liquid sugar at Starbucks in California? It's wonderful.) and you have the perfect refreshing drink. Now officially named a MauiMomma. I think I found every Starbucks on the island.

Queen Ka'ahumanu Center - Frugality gets in the way of shopping. Surferman and I did a lot of looking but not much buying. Queen Ka'ahumanu was our favorite shopping destination. Of course it has a Starbucks.

Hanakao'o / Canoe Beach - Great beach for sleeping, relaxing, and doing a bit of body surfing. You can watch the jet skiiers, check out the Hawaiian canoes, take a walk. I liked it because there was grass and shade. The walk from the car to the beach is very short.

10 years ago today...

I married Surferman.

It was a beautiful day.

As you can imagine, Surferman was not your typical tuxedoed groom. I wasn't the typical bride in white. We wanted something that suited us. There was a feeling of aloha in the air. The guests were encouraged to wear Hawaiian shirts and dresses. We gave each guest a lei at the door. The sanctuary was filled with green foliage. The bridesmaids and groomsmen wore dresses and shirts of the same batik Hawaiian print. Surferman's shirt was a different color of the same print. I wore a short lace and gauze dress, tuberrose in my hair and Birkenstocks with blue socks.

Family inflated balloons by the millions for the reception hall. We danced to tacky songs like the Macarena. No wedding cake - hot fudge sundaes with homemade ice cream instead.

It was a beautiful day.

Surferman the Dad

I thought I had Grom's heart, but this week I realized that "Mama" means "give me ..." or "I need ..." or "I can't reach..." Bummer.

Thank God for Dads.

My husband is a wonderful Dad. Surferman loves his son so much and it shows. Grom loves Da like no other. He lights up when Surferman finally gets home from work. They laugh and wrestle and carry on.

Surferman and Grom have games I can't play and will never understand. They "dirt surf" together - Grom balances on an old bodyboard while Daddy pulls him over the dirt burm at the back of our house. Neighbors stop and watch as a toe headed boy giggles his way over dirt waves.

Surferman is far from the perfect father. We (I) have rules that I need to constantly remind him of. An example of one of the rules is... "Don't do anything with Grom that makes people gasp". He has to be reminded of this rule often - he loves to get reactions out of folks- like when he throws Grom towards the moon, does a 360 and then catches him - all while eating an ice cream cone that he then shares with "the baby".

I found this article, A Mom's Guide to Letting Dad be Dad, at America's Family Coaches.

Here's the high points and some of the things I need to work on.

Relational Fathering. Moms long for their husbands to snuggle, hug, kiss, or verbally express how much they care for their children. To some men, relational fathering can be the most threatening aspect of fathering. Here’s how to boost his confidence:

1. Leave Him Alone with the Kids.

2. Establish Special Traditions.

Surferman has this part of fathering down. He is affectionate and attentive. He craves time with Grom and often sends me off so that I can have some time to myself.

Personal Fathering. Each father will do fathering his own way. Mom’s job? Step back and let him! He might dry his son’s hiney off with a bib because it’s the closest object. He might take his kids fishing or teach them to use the computer at age three because those are “his things.” The point is, your husband will father in a way that is unique to his personality. Our job as moms is to let dads discover their own style and then get out of their way while they practice it.

1. Free Him!

2. Honor Him!

3. Appreciate Him!

Here is where I need some help and prayers. I can be controlling. My way is the right way. I can be critical and he hears all about it. I can be ungrateful. I don't know how good I have it.

Spiritual Fathering. Fathers influence the faith of their children. Sigmund Freud claimed that a child’s psychological representation of his father is intimately connected to his understanding of God. Moms want dads to take a spiritual role in the family, but most men find themselves held back by feelings of inadequacy. Try these 2 tactics to encourage him to be intentional:

1. Pray for Him.

2. Show Him Jesus.

I can't pray enough for my husband. He deserves more than my last fleeting prayers thrown out to God as I drift off to sleep.

Source: (Elisa Morgan and Carol Kuykendall, Make Room for Daddy (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2002), 133-146)

5 Things Super-Happy Couples Do Every Day

5 Things Super-Happy Couples Do Every Day

I realized that so far I had neglected my pursuit of an awesome marriage in my blogging. I surfed around and found this article from Redbook. It's secular and I'm reading it as I'm blogging. The author brags about having a ridiculously happy marriage. I hope God is part of it, I can't really tell from the introduction.

Here's the ideas and how I could pull some of these ideas into my own marriage.

Daily Habit #1: Talk to Each Other

• Start a habit of "decompressing". When Surferman gets home, we can take a few minutes before dinner to enjoy something to drink and talk about our days.
• Re-establish our weekly "Family Meeting".
• Send notes with lunch.

Daily Habit #2: Flirt

• Brag about Surferman whenever I can to whoever I can.
• 60 second kisses.
  

Daily Habit #3: Get Stupid Together

• Surferman loves B grade (even D grade - the cheesier the better) Sci Fi. Netflix has a great selection of these movies. Film Festival?
• Seek out and share silly clean jokes.
• Speak in fun movie quotes. I used to send Surferman off to work with, "Have fun storming the castle" Why did I stop?

Daily Habit #4: Declare Your Independence

• Me: Bible Study, Scrapbooking, Quilting
• Surferman: Surfing, Guitar, Cars

Daily Habit #5: Share a Spiritual Moment

• We regularly attend church and a home group together.
• Daily Bible Reading
• Devotions
• Prayer

Daily Bible New Testament ~ November 8

Hebrews 4:1-16 NKJV

¹¹ Let us therefore be diligent to enter that rest, lest anyone fall according to the same example of disobedience. ¹² For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. ¹³ And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.

¹⁴ Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. ¹⁵ For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. ¹⁶ Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Thank you Jesus for coming to earth, experiencing life as man so that you know my humanity. Thank you for the mercy and grace you show be day after day.

I also checked The Message.
¹²God means what he says. What he says goes. His powerful Word is sharp as a surgeon's scalpel, cutting through everything, whether doubt or defense, laying us open to listen and obey. ¹³Nothing and no one is impervious to God's Word. We can't get away from it--no matter what.

Down for the count

Both of the boys are sick. I think it's a cold, but it might be the flu. I've never been clear on the difference. Growing up I always thought you couldn't have the flu unless you were puking. Now I'm not so sure.

Any hoo... Surferman has been suffering since last Monday. He's been near death a few times. He's a big guy and he falls hard. He went to the doctor on Friday and got a Z-pack (just in case). Just in case came this morning. He just isn't getting better. He missed 2 days of work last week and I don't see him making it to work tomorrow.

Lord, Help me to be patient and sympathetic. I know he really isn't feeling well. Help me to support and love him - in sickness and in health and all that.

Grom has had a runny nose and a few other symptoms since last Tuesday. Fortunately Grom seems to take more after my family. I deny I'm sick and will probably continue to deny that I'm sick until they close the lid on the coffin. He's been toddling around the house with snot flying out of his nose. A scene only his mom could find joy in. I really don't want to take him to the doctor, but if he's not better by... I might have to. He's sleeping now, the vaporizers moisturizing his room.

Lord, I thank you for this little boy. He blesses me so with his joyful spirit. Heal him. Give his mommy wisdom and patience. Keep him from harm.

Me? I'm not sick (remember I deny). My nose is a bit stuffy and my throat is a bit scratchy. But I will be fine. I'm not concerned with this cold or whatever it is. My mood however, it really stinks and it's getting old. I'm low, blue, moody, just don't use the "d" word. I refuse to be depressed. I am going to ride out this period of illness in our home and see what happens.

Father God, You are my hope. I know You have good things for me. Please take this feeling. I can't trust my feelings but I know I can trust you. Help me to pull myself together. Give me great times in Your Word. Help me to listen. Restore my joy.

Maybe I need a pedicure?